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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25592569">Save The Moment</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychedelicShips/pseuds/PsychedelicShips'>PsychedelicShips</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>All sides sympathetic, High School AU, M/M, Moceit - Freeform, Moceit with background Intrulogical and Prinxiety, Swearing, Sympathetic Janus, Sympathetic Patton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:16:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,525</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25592569</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychedelicShips/pseuds/PsychedelicShips</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Patton Harte’s hobby is photography- he takes pictures of everything; flowers, trees, his friends, and the person who sits next to him in biology: Janus Lye. When a mix-up with Patton’s camera happens, the two become close friends- and more.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Deceit | Janus Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The doodle of a flower was coming along very nicely, Janus thought. Of course, the doodle was what they were doing instead of taking notes, but Janus knew everything the teacher was rambling on about, anyway, so instead of paying attention to the makeup of animal cells versus plant cells, they instead focused on drawing intricate patterns of triangles, zig-zags, fish scales, and puzzle pieces that made up the stems of flowers. Once satisfied, they flipped to the next page of the notebook and looked around the room, trying to decide what to draw next. Their eyes landed on the boy who sat at the desk to their right. He fiddled with a camera for a few minutes before realizing Janus was staring. He waved at Janus, but they averted their gaze, embarrassed. Janus knew who sat next to them- Patton Harte: the head of the yearbook committee, member of the cheerleading squad, top of the biology class, and the prettiest person to ever grace this earth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus had had an enormous crush on Patton ever since seventh grade when the two of them had been partnered for a project over the Civil War. Yet Janus had never acknowledged it, fearful that he would ruin everything. Or rather, nothing good would come of actually admitting to Patton that they liked him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After what seemed like forever, the bell finally rang, dismissing students from one boring class to the next. But at least biology was Janus’s seventh period, so school would be almost over. They dropped their notebook into their backpack along with their yellow pencil case and walked toward the door. Before Janus could stop themself, they looked over to the now-empty desk where Patton had been sitting. Patton had been one of the first ones to leave but- Janus saw a camera sitting on the ground beneath the chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was Patton’s! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus, before thinking twice, picked up the camera. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll give this to him after school, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Janus said to themself. To their surprise, the camera was still on, and Janus couldn’t help themself from scrolling through the photos Patton had taken as they walked down the stairs to their next and final class of the day, AP philosophy. Scrolling through countless photos, mostly of animals and flowers, Janus found themself in awe of Patton’s ability to capture the shapes and shadows of nature so beautifully. But Janus paused when they came across a series of pictures- all of them taken of Janis in biology. In one, their head was tilted upwards and to the left, lost in thought, Janus only stared, wondering why Patton would take a picture of them, of all people. Surely Patton wouldn’t use it as blackmail or something, right? No, he was too nice for that- so why would Patton waste camera space on Janus when the storage space could be used instead for more beautiful pictures of flowers or dogs?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trying to forget about what they had just seen, Janus focused instead on the camera itself. A worn stamp of the brand name was written in white on the bottom, and next to it in silver Sharpie was written Patton’s full name and a phone number on the “if found, please return to…” sticker Patton had stuck on, and, of course, there was a smiley face written next to a ‘thank you!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Surprised at the weight of the camera, Janus found themself putting the camera strap around their neck. It must have weighed about two pounds, and Patton carried it with him every day? Janus did not think about how strong Patton must be, and they definitely did not think about what Patton’s arms would feel like around their waist- no, they did not think about any of that throughout their torturous algebra class. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What was it with public school and thinking queer people such as themself had the mental capacity to do math? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the teacher seemed to drone on about parabolas or something like that, Janus continued to think about Patton, this time not even trying to deny it. Janus remembered the first time he had met Patton- it had been in eight grade when Janus was the ‘new kid.’ People had made fun of them for their vitiligo and scar on the left side of their face, and Patton had invited Janus to sit with him at lunch until Janus found their own group of friends. But of course, Janus never really did, so they continued to sit with Patton for the rest of middle school. When high school came around, they had seen each other less and less, until they were finally in biology together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After reminiscing for a moment, Janus finally realized why queer people were so unable to do math- it was because instead of thinking about the numbers, they thought about people they wanted to kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait- oh no. Janus really </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>want to kiss Patton, then. Of course they did! Patton was so nice! And pretty, and cute, and so athletic… well, this was a problem. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it was a problem that could be avoided, if they took the right steps- don’t talk to Patton unless necessary. Return the camera and then avoid him. And do not, under any circumstances, be alone with him. Now the only step was to stop thinking about him. Easier said than done, Janus supposed, after trying to force themself to think about snakes and instead wondering if Patton had any pets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus came to the conclusion that they were just too fucking gay to do anything except think about pretty boys. And so, throughout the entire last period, Janus’s thoughts kept wandering to Patton. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They knew it was unrealistic, that it would never work, that Patton would never like them back, but what was the harm in dreaming? Janus wanted nothing more than for Patton to be happy, and he never would be if he was with Janus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus was too mean, too weird, deemed ‘scary’ by classmates because of their vitiligo and a long scar running across their left side of the face… and worst of all would be what Janus’s father would have to say about it. It was better to leave Patton out of it, to just let him be. If they became close, Patton would surely realize just how terrible Janus was to be around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paper landing on their desk distanced Janus from their thoughts. They looked at what they now realized to be homework and groaned. They put it into their backpack and adjusted their yellow beanie, impatiently waiting for the bell to ring and set them free of math, the absolute bane of queer people everywhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they were finally free, Janus attempted but failed to locate Patton’s dirty blond curls in the noisy, crowded hallways. Janus supposed they could call the number on the bottom of the camera, but then Patton would have their number, and it would be a whole new mess that Janus would prefer to not have to deal with on top of… feelings. Walking down the hall, Janus continued searching for Patton. It was only when Janus was about to walk out of the building that he saw Patton at the receptionist’s desk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>”Patton!” Janus shouted, shoving through the crowd go get to the boy. ”Hey!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus ran up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. Patton turned around with a worried expression on his face before realizing what Janus was holding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>”Oh my gosh! You found it! Thank you so, so much!” he smiled. Janus handed the camera over to its owner and would have walked away without a word if Patton hadn't started walking along with them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>”Hey, can we talk outside? It's super loud in here, ” Patton asked. Janus had a feeling Patton would continue to talk no matter their answer, so they just nodded, preparing themself for whatever was to come. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: swearing, accidental misgendering</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The cool breeze was a welcome relief from the hot, crowded school building. The March weather in Florida tended to be mild, but Patton found himself zipping up his gray jacket to keep out the chill. With the familiar weight of the camera back in his hands, Patton was so much calmer than he had been during the last period when he realized that he didn't have the camera one of his most prized possessions. He had panicked during his entire English class, wondering where it could be and what his moms would say if he lost it. A good quality camera like Patton’s was expensive to buy, and he wouldn't have been able to replace any of the photos he had taken! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But luckily, Janus had given it back! And even luckier, Patton really, really liked Janus, and if Patton played his cards right, maybe Janus would even agree to sit with him at lunch! Or- or even start to be friends! And then Patton would ask Janus to go on a date with him… Patton had to still himself from squealing out loud. Janus was walking right next to him, for Pete’s sake! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>”Thank you so, so much, Janus! I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't found my camera!” Patton hugged Janus, who, after a moment of surprise, hugged back then quickly stepped away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>”Oh, yeah. No problem, ” Janus mumbled, his left side turned away from Patton. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton was about to thank Janus again before he saw one of his friend’s familiar brown hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>”Roman! Hi!” Patton waved. Roman walked over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon seeing Janus, Roman asked Patton, ”Who's this?” In a tone that, to any other person, would have sounded not-so-nice, but Patton knew that it was just Roman’s normal speaking tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>”This is Janus! He found my camera!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus mumbled something Patton couldn't quite hear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>”Kiddo, what'd you say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>”Oh, um, it's ’they,’” Janus mumbled. ”I'm nonbinary.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>”Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! Roman, this is Janus, they found my camera!” Patton corrected himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter that much, anyway,” Janus replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean? Of course it matters!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus dropped their gaze. “Oh. Thanks, I guess,” was all they said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, well, I have to be getting to rehearsal now! Bye, Pat!” Roman waved as he walked back into the school building.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton couldn’t help but notice the way Janus’s smile was uneven and curved to the right of their face, the way their left eye had a tint of yellow-brown while their right was pure green, the way their nose scrunched a tiny bit when they were happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton had noticed everything about Janus for years, ever since Patton had invited Janus to sit with him at the beginning of middle school, back when Janus was the ‘new kid.’ Patton had hoped that he would stay friends with them, but when high school came along, they had seen each other less and less. Fortunately, Patton had found his own group of friends! Roman and Remus King, the twins, were the first to make friends with Patton. Then, Logan Croft, the first freshman on the varsity debate team, had started sitting with them. And last but not least, Virgil Storm, the school’s resident emo kid, had been invited by Logan to sit at their table. One thing led to another, and thus had all become some of Patton’s best friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, Patton hoped that he and Janus could at least rekindle that friendship they had started way back at the beginning of seventh grade, four long years ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Janus?” Patton stopped them as they were about to turn away. “I was wondering, since you don’t normally sit with anyone- not that I watch you at lunch or anything-“ Why did Patton have to be so bad at talking to people? Patton would have sighed if he hadn’t been committed to seeing his task through. “I was wondering if you’d like to sit with me and my friends at lunch tomorrow? You don’t have to, of course, I was just-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Janus replied, a small smile tugging at their lips. “Yeah, I’d like that,” they repeated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great!” Patton beamed. “I’ll see you then?” Patton felt himself start to turn pink, which could be blamed on the chilly air, but was likely from holding a conversation with his crush for longer than just a few words about the structure of a cell or parts of the endocrine system. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus nodded, and Patton started to walk away before they started speaking again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey- Patton?” He turned back around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? What’s up, kiddo?” Patton smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- I noticed on your camera. It was still on, so I looked at some of your pictures, and they’re really pretty-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, thank you! There’s a park by my house and I go there a lot-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I saw that there were some pictures of- of me. In biology.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton would have slapped himself if he could. Of course Janus has seen the photos! Patton just hoped that he hadn’t ruined any chance at friendship between the two of them because Janus thought he was creepy for taking the pictures!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry! I can’t delete them now if you want-“ Patton turned on the camera and started to scroll through the pictures.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not mad, I just wanted to know- why? They look so good, but- why would you waste your time and storage space taking pictures of </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> of all people?” Patton could have sworn he saw a blush creeping up Janus’s face as they angled their head to the left- Patton noticed that they did that a lot, likely to hide their left side from view. Patton didn’t reply to them for a moment, trying to come up with an accurate explanation that didn’t sound like he was a stalker. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because, well, I’ve never seen anyone like you. There are only so many different types of faces at this school, but you’re the only one who looks like you. And in a good way, I mean!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus was speechless for a moment. “Oh. Thanks. I’ve never- no one’s ever told me that before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton smiled shyly. “Yeah. No problem. If you’d be willing I could maybe- you could be the subject of a few more photos?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er, yeah. Maybe. I gotta get going but I’ll see you tomorrow?” Janus smiled as they waved goodbye to Patton as they walked toward the bus line. Patton, still smiling, started walking to the student parking lot, attempting but failing to avoid the crowd, where he met Virgil everyday after school. He and Virgil had started carpooling together as soon as Patton learned to drive, as they both lived in the same neighborhood and Virgil was always too scared that he would crash into someone to drive farther than the gas station. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton walked to his car, a light blue Honda that had been a hand-me-down from his moms, but in great shape nonetheless. Standing next to it was Virgil, slouched and listening to music, as always. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In greeting, Patton unlocked the car, the honk making Virgil jump. Virgil swore and Patton playfully scolded him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, padre. You’re late,” Virgil took off his headphones and slid them around his neck. “What kept ya?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, nothing much,” Patton replied as he sat in the driver's seat, hoping that Virgil couldn’t see the blush slowly rising to his cheeks. Unfortunately, Virgil definitely noticed, and immediately started to tease. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sooo, who was it?” Virgil poked Patton in the arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton put his head on the steering wheel in an attempt to hide his flustered grin from Virgil’s teasing, but to no avail. “Come on, popstar. Who’s the lucky guy? Or gal? Or non-binary pal?” Virgil pressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the non-binary pal,” Patton replied after being continuously poked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were not leaving it at that! What’s their name? Who are they? Do they like you baaack?” Virgil laughed as Patton became more and more red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton sighed and gave in to Virgil’s questioning. “It’s Janus. They’re in my bio class. You might know them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I think I do. Black hair, kinda pale, with the skin thing going on? What’s it called? Vitiligo? And the scar?” Virgil asked, running a finger down his cheek in the same spot Janus’s scar was located.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup. That’s them,” Patton smiled. “I, uh, may or may not have invited them to sit with us tomorrow at lunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooh, it’s practically a date!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No it’s not! At least, not yet, anyways.” Patton didn’t intend to say the last part out loud, let alone have Virgil hear it, who was now doubled over with laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Virgiiiiiiiil!” Patton whined. “If you’re going to tease me, at least tell me how you and Roman got together!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Virgil’s turn to blush. “It’s such a bad story! I mean, who asks someone out in the bathroom of a random Whataburger in the middle of Texas?!”   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton could recall the exact moment Virgil had texted him during Sophomore year. Roman, Virgil, and the rest of the high school band were on a trip to the San Antonio’s regional band competition, during which Virgil had, understandably, been more than a little bit frantic. Roman had asked him if they could go out together on a river boat tour, just the two of them. Virgil had already accepted the invitation, but had texted Patton almost nonstop during the bus ride. Patton and the rest of their friend group had never stopped teasing the two of them about how they finally got together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton laughed at the memory of it. “I guess you could say-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t-“  Virgil tried to stop Patton.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That Roman has fries only for you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to kill me one of these days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Soda you think that was good?” Patton laughed, doing finger-guns at Virgil, who had sunk lower onto the passenger seat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought those jokes were pretty ice,” Patton continued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m begging you, Pat! Stop! Start driving already!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, fine. Lettuce leaf, I suppose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! They’re getting worse! Stop that, or else I will go back into the sweet, pun-less world of Tyler Joseph’s screamo ukulele music.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What kind of genre is ‘screamo ukulele?’” Patton asked, momentarily stopping his flow of fast-food related wordplay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In response, Virgil unplugged his headphones and started to play his music, Patton occasionally bopping his head along to the beat and slowly understanding what screamo ukulele was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After several songs, Patton had arrived in their neighborhood. Patton first drove down the street to drop off Virgil, promising to pick him up tomorrow, too. They had done this for a few years now, Patton giving Virgil rides to and from school. But Patton didn’t mind- in fact, he enjoyed their car rides together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Patton arrived at his house, that was where he deviated slightly from his usual routine. Instead of immediately starting on his homework, he flopped down on his bed and hugged one of his many fluffy pillows, mildly terrified yet extremely excited for tomorrow’s lunch, where Janus would be joining him for the first time in what seemed like forever.</span>
</p><p><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>After about a week of awkward conversation, Janus felt, for the first time, like they had a group of people that they could call friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was Roman King, a theater kid who had a tendency to randomly burst into song, most of which were Disney. Janus found him mildly annoying, yet still agreeable to sit with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roman’s brother, Remus King, was someone Janus could relate to far more. He had the same disregard for society as Janus themself did, but Remus executed his hatred for normalcy in a completely different fashion- while Janus would become the leader of a government, Remus would simply murder every authority figure; something Janus definitely respected, yet very much did not want to get in the way of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logan Croft, Janus’s fellow gender-variant human being, was Remus’s boyfriend and also just so happened to be the leader of the varsity debate team. Janus had heard of them before, as Logan was one of the first openly transgender men in the school. The two of them had gotten into several discussions about everything from aliens to philosophy to theoretical physics, most of which ended up with the minds of everyone else at the table hurting from the sheer complexity of the discussions. A detail that had stuck with Janus was the fact that, when they first came to the table, Logan was almost willing to give up his seat and find somewhere else, had Remus not pulled Logan back to sit in his lap for the rest of lunch. Logan had been red-faced for a good thirty minutes, both during and after the incident.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then there was Virgil Storm, who hadn’t said much at all to Janus, probably because of the ‘brooding emo’ persona Virgil radiated. Virgil also radiated a ‘fuck the government’ attitude Janus could definitely get behind. Safe to say, most of the table consisted of anarchists, which Janus definitely appreciated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then, of course, there was Patton- the whole reason they were there, sitting at a table with all of these amazing people (not that they would admit that they were amazing). Patton, the absolute loveliest person on the planet- or any planet, for that matter. After a week of sitting with him, there could be no more denying that Janus had a crush on him. A giant, head-over-heels, undeniable crush. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that was the problem Janus had faced. What should they </span>
  <em>
    <span>do? </span>
  </em>
  <span>It didn’t seem like they would stop liking Patton anytime soon, at least romantically, and even if Patton, for some backwards reason, liked them back, Janus couldn’t let Patton be stuck with them- they were too worried about what their father would do to even consider that Patton maybe, just maybe, could actually be happy with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton saying their name snapped Janus out of their thoughts. “Janus knows how! Right?” They looked up from their school lunch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do I know?” They hadn’t been paying attention at all to the conversation and now felt entirely out of the loop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Card tricks!” Patton said enthusiastically. Janus cringed slightly at how loud Patton’s voice was but nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know some sleight of hand. It’s not that impressive, really, it’s just a hobby. Anyone can learn,” Janus said,a little embarrassed at all the attention they were getting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Show us! Show us!” Remus shouted from across the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus, not used to the spotlight being on them, suddenly felt the urge to curl into a ball under the table. But instead, they overcame that urge and asked, “Alright. Does anyone have a deck of cards?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe I do,” Logan said from next to Remus, digging through his backpack and eventually pulling out a slightly beat-up deck of cards and handing it to Janus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Janus said as they counted and shuffled the cards. “Patton, split the deck. Put the other half over here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton followed Janus’s directions, giggling the whole time until there were four separate piles of cards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, flip over the top card of each pile.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton did so and gasped as all four aces were turned over. The rest of the table stared at Janus, no doubt wondering how they managed to do the trick. Janus smirked at their astonished faces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you do another?!” Patton smiled at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus nodded and shuffled the cards again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton, pick a card. Don’t tell me what it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Patton did that, he put the card back in the deck and tried to follow Janus’s hands as they shuffled the cards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this your card?” Janus held out the ace of hearts. Patton, wide-eyed, nodded. The rest of the table started to clap politely, with Remus clapping as loudly and obnoxiously as he possibly could, even long after the rest of the table stopped. It seemed as if Remus would have kept clapping the entire lunch period had a teacher not come over to the table and told Remus to stop. Remus did so with a glare, and the teacher walked away. But as soon as the teacher was out of earshot, Remus began snapping. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck da police!” Remus chanted. “Fuck da police!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logan groaned. “Why did I show you that John Mulaney episode?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the table burst into laughter, Janus included. Roman reached across Logan, who sat between the twins, and punched Remus in the arm. Logan moved his chair back and sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus could just barely catch what Logan said. “Remus, sometimes I wonder why I put up with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too, Nerdy Wolverine!” Remus replied as he continued to hit and be hit by Roman. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, Janus,” Patton said as the twins continued to fight. “I was wondering if you were doing anything this weekend? Tomorrow or Sunday? I mean if- would you like to hang out? With me? Over the weekend? Oh, gosh, I already asked that-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus cut him off. “Yeah! That'd be great. Saturday it is,” they smiled. Janus knew Patton probably meant the invitation as merely between two friends, but Janus could hope, couldn’t they? But no- no, they wouldn’t let themself get their hopes up! It was one thing to daydream, but something else completely when they bargained to feel like they stood a chance!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the lunch period continued with Remus and Roman still fighting. Logan and Virgil, their respective boyfriends, had both resorted to threats of ‘no kissing or a week if you don't behave.’ Needless to say, the twins immediately stopped their bickering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus briefly wondered what it would be like to have a boyfriend to tell them that- how it would feel to have someone, definitively not Patton, of course, who would love them so much they could joke like Logan and Remus or Roman and Virgil did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If someone was to ask Janus if they looked over at Patton, wondering what it would be like to hold him close, to run their fingers through his hair, to taste his lips… Janus would have said no, they did not do any of those things. They also did not imagine their hands on Patton’s waist, slowly dancing together. And Janus absolutely did not realize in that moment that they had somehow become the hopeless romantic type who lamented over unrequited love and would probably do a Shakespeare-style soliloquy about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bell signaling the end of lunch shook Janus out of their daydreams of Patton. They stood up and took their lunch tray to the trash can, discarding the rest of the cardboard-tasting stuff the school tried to pass off as edible food. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Patton?” Janus turned to look at him. “Thank you. For letting me sit here with you. With your friends. It’s really fun,” they admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! No one should have to sit alone! And I’m so happy that you joined us! I love y- I love being around you,” Patton smiled, the last bit said softer than the rest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus, of course, did not spend the rest of the school day daydreaming about what they and Patton might do together over the weekend. </span>
</p><p>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yet another week had passed, with March slowly turning into April, and with it, warmer weather came. Patton had traded out his turtlenecks for t-shirts and began to wear his cardigan around his neck instead of bundled around himself. On this particular Friday, Patton decided to wear a pastel blue shirt with a little green frog he had sewn onto the breast pocket, with a gray skirt over leggings to match, even adding a little green hair clip to keep his curly dirty-blond hair tame in the humidity of Florida. Before walking out the door, he had opted to add just a little bit of sparkly blue eyeshadow. <br/>Did he dress up a little bit more today than he normally did? Yes, definitely. <br/>Was it for a reason, that reason being that he was going to attempt to work up the courage to ask Janus on a proper date tonight? Also yes. <br/>But if his moms asked, would he tell them that he might be meeting up with his longtime crush of three years to get frozen yogurt? No, probably not. Of course, he would tell them that he’d be out later than normal, but not every detail. <br/>His moms supported everything Patton did- choosing to wear the occasional skirt, experimenting with makeup, and hopefully going on dates with someone who was the epitome of both the goth and punk stereotypes at the same time, but they could be overbearing at times. <br/>Patton smiled to himself as he drove to Virgil’s house at the memory of the first time he and Virgil had gone trick-or-treating by themselves- Patton’s mothers had made sure that his Avatar Aang costume glowed, mostly so that he would be seen by cars, but they had also made it blue, so Patton had used the opportunity to shout “Avatar state, yip yip!” at every moment he could. His mothers had also insisted that he and Virgil check in every half hour to hour. Patton had considered them overprotective for the longest time, but he knew they meant well.<br/>When Virgil slid into the passenger seat, his purple backpack sitting on his lap, he noticed Patton’s attire and smirked. <br/>“Eyeshadow? You’re really doing it, huh?”<br/>“Doing what?” Patton blushed.<br/>“Asking them out. You never ask anyone out. It’s always been you who’s been asked, if that makes sense.”<br/>“That’s not true! I’ve- no, that’s true.”<br/>“I told you so. See, you give off complete bottom energy so that’s probably why,” Virgil laughed.<br/>“Stooooop! I do not!” Patton pouted. “And you know I’m ace, Virge.”<br/>“Oh. Yeah, sorry. You don’t like that kind of joke. But seriously, Pat. You better not back down at the last minute.”<br/>“I won’t! Doesn’t my best friend believe in me?”<br/>“I do. I believe that you’re going to freak out right before you say you’re going to ask them,” Virgil laughed and slipped on his purple headphones. <br/>“But are you sure I don’t have to drive you to your house after school gets out? You’re really alright with staying to watch Roman’s rehearsal?”<br/>“For the last time, Pat, it’s fine! You’re starting to sound like me,” Virgil laughed before turning up the volume of what Patton assumed to be My Chemical Romance due to the faint drums he could hear.</p><p> </p><p>***<br/>Lunch had quickly become Patton’s favorite time of day because it allowed him to stare at Janus for about an hour. Patton had fully accepted that Janus had taken over his heart- how could Patton not fall in love with them? It had started at the beginning of school when Patton found that he and Janus were in the same biology class. Patton noticed how they kept their left side tilted downwards in an effort to hide their scar and vitiligo- they probably thought it marked them as something other, or something scary, but Patton thought quite the opposite: it made them unique, interesting- handsome or pretty, whichever Janus preferred. <br/>Patton had noticed when Janus came to school with two piercings in each ear, the bottom ones small gold studs and the top ones little silver snakes biting his earlobes. He had briefly wondered if Janus had done the piercings themself, and what their hands would feel like helping Patton put in his own pair of earrings- Patton had always wanted to get his ears pierced, but had never gone because he was afraid that it would hurt. <br/>Patton had noticed that Janus doodled in the margins of their notebooks- flowers, people, or meaningless patterns. Patton had taken a lot of time in biology to watch Janus. But now was the time to talk to them, not watch them. <br/>Patton tapped Janus on the shoulder and they looked up from a cartoonish doodle of a camera. <br/>“Hey, Janus. So i was wondering if maybe-” Patton paused, about to say ‘nevermind’ until he saw Virgil looking at him out of the corner of his eye. “I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me tonight? As, er, maybe more than friends? Like, a romantic date. If you want.” Patton had to stop himself from rambling as Janus smiled.<br/>“I would love that! Yeah! Any place in particular you wanted to go?” Janus smiled, and Patton felt like he was melting. He had done it! And they said yes! <br/>“Well, I had planned that I could take you to a frozen yogurt place? Unless you don’t want to. Or are you allergic to something? I should have asked you that before!” Patton internally slapped himself.<br/>“No, no. I’m not- I don’t have any allergies. And that would be great! I can’t wait,” Patton swore he saw Janus become pink. <br/>“Amazing! I can drive you there and drop you off. I’ll pay, too! If there’s a time you need to be home by, it won’t be a problem.”<br/>“Thanks, Patton. This will be fun. I’m sincerely glad I know you,” they smiled.<br/>“I’m glad I know you, too!”</p><p>***</p><p>Patton nervously waited by the entrance of the school for Janus, shifting between fidgeting with the hem of his gray pleated skirt and the strap of his camera. He tried his hardest not to think about what would happen if they didn’t show up, if they had changed their mind about going out with him, if they just ignored him-<br/>“Nope,” Patton whispered to himself. “We’re going to be optimistic about this…”<br/>Patton scanned the crowd, standing on his tiptoes, looking for Janus’s signature yellow and black beanie. <br/>Patton jumped as someone slid an arm around his shoulder before realizing it was the person he had been looking for.<br/>“Janus!”<br/>“Sorry I kept you waiting,” Janus apologized.<br/>“That wasn’t very gentle-them-ly of you,” Patton smiled, not able to resist the pun. Instead of groaning, as Patton had expected, Janus laughed. <br/>“Puns about my pronouns? Is nothing off-limits?” They teased.<br/>“Nope. You’re about to get soft-served a bowl load of puns!”<br/>Janus snickered at that one and Patton smiled proudly. <br/>“Well, I cone-t leave you waiting any longer, shall we head to my car?” Patton asked, smiling, <br/>“Oh, that one was terrible!” Janus followed Patton through the student parking lot to his small light blue car. <br/>Patton started the car and turned to Janus. “What kind of music do you want? Or do you just not want to have music on? Or the radio?” Oh, why was he so nervous? He had already done the hard part of asking Janus out!<br/>Janus smiled. “Can I put on my playlist?”<br/>“Yeah! Plug in your phone and we’ll listen on the way there.”<br/>Jazzy music played through Patton’s car speakers <br/>“So, Janus, what’s the scoop?” Patton laughed.<br/>“What do you mean?” Janus asked. <br/>“I mean, what do you like? What’s an interesting fact about you?”<br/>“Okay,” Janus paused, thinking. “My favorite animal is a snake, I like chocolate ice cream, and my favorite colors are yellow and black.”<br/>“Aww! Like a bumblebee! Okay, my favorite animals are frogs and cats, I like cookie dough ice cream, and my favorite color is light blue. And- oh! I could knit you a snake! Maybe a scarf or a plushie!” Patton grinned. ‘Just relax,’ he reminded himself. <br/>“You knit?” Janus asked.<br/>“Yup! I made my cardigan and a lot of my sweaters! I also made Virgil a knit version of his hoodie,” he smiled. <br/>“Oh, like for Christmas? How long did that take?”<br/>“Er, I don’t celebrate Christmas. Well, my mom’s side does, but my mother doesn’t. We’re a Jewish family.”<br/>“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t know-“<br/>“It’s fine,” Patton shrugged. <br/>The conversation of religion ended there, but the two of them continued talking about hobbies, school- any topic that came to mind, until they arrived at their destination.<br/>They got out of the car and walked up to the store, which Janus smiled at as they saw what it was called.<br/>“It’s called ‘Fro Yo Mama?’ I can see why you like this place,” Janus laughed. <br/>“Yeah, it has a very cool name!”<br/>Janus playfully rolled their eyes as they walked up to the door. <br/>“After you,” Janus held the door for Patton and watched him blush a dark shade of pink. Janus followed Patton to the back of the store where the soft-serve machines stood, picking out a cup and looking for the chocolate.<br/>“Pull the lever, Janus!”<br/>They paused, unsure what Patton was referencing. <br/>“The Emperor’s New Groove!” Patton explained. <br/>“I’ve never seen it,” Janus replied sheepishly as they filled their cup with chocolate frozen yogurt. <br/>Patton put his hand over his heart playfully. “Well! I guess a second date will have to have Disney movies!”<br/>Janus smiled. “Yes, I suppose it will.”<br/>The two of them moved to the topping section where Patton placed spoonfuls of cookie dough on his vanilla yogurt while Janus added the mini peanut butter cups and a cherry on top. Patton took out his wallet and handed the cashier the money while Janus brought both cups to an empty table. <br/>Patton walked over to the table, adjusting his cardigan and smiling. <br/>“The stool tables?” He laughed. “Do you just want to be tall for an hour?”<br/>Janus chuckled. The height difference between the two, while not like Roman and Virgil’s (who were six-foot-two and five-foot-five respectively), was still quite laughable. Janus stood at a mere five feet and four inches while Patton was five feet and nine inches. <br/>“Not at all, skyscraper.”<br/>“Well, you know which building is the tallest, right?”<br/>“The Burj Khalifa in Dubai, right?” Janus replied, thankful that they had paid attention to Jeopardy! when it was on.<br/>“Nope! The library, because it has thousands of stories!”<br/>“Patton. These puns- are pretty sweet,” they said, holding up their cup of frozen yogurt and laughing with Patton. <br/>It sounded cliche, but Patton looked into Janus’s brown-and-green eyes and saw his own smile reflected in Janus’s dark eyes. <br/>Janus and Patton finished their frozen desserts, each of them picking out every peanut butter cup and cookie dough chunk respectively, and Patton stood up to throw away the cups and get napkins. <br/>“I’m going to go wash my hands, be right back,” Patton said.<br/>Janus nodded. <br/>Patton walked into the bathroom and let out a sigh of relief and happiness. “That went so well!” he whispered to himself, smiling in the mirror. <br/>“And Janus even said ‘on the next date’...” Patton squealed quietly. <br/>He finished washing his hands and walked back over to where Janus still sat on a stool. <br/>“Ready to head back? Give me your address, I’ll drive you,” he said, fishing the car keys out of his pocket. <br/>Janus nodded, and the two of them exited the pun-named store to the cool air.<br/>The car was much quieter than it had been on the way there, both of the people in the car smiling to themselves, although the other couldn’t see the grins in the darkness. <br/>When Patton pulled up to Janus’s house, Janus leaned over the armrest and pressed their lips to Patton’s cheek. <br/>Even in the darkness, Patton could tell that Janus saw the pink tinge in his face. Janus just smiled and said, “thank you, Patton. I’ll see you soon?”<br/>Patton nodded, still blushing, as Janus climbed out of the car.<br/>“Bye!” He waved at Janus as they unlocked their house door and waved back.<br/>As soon as Janus was inside, Patton rested his head against the steering wheel and allowed himself a huge smile.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Patton that's kinda gay bro...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>For once in their life, Janus found themself enjoying school. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of forcing themself to step out the door and walk to the bus stop, Janus simply… did it. There wasn’t arguing with themself of whether it was worth it, if they really had to endure one more day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, Janus somewhat looked forward to the period of time before school, where they and Patton were free to do whatever they wanted for a time, to the middle of the day for biology and lunch, where he got to see Patton for the longest, and the end of the day when the two of them said the good-byes and promised to see each other tomorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton made the school days bearable, even making Janus look forward to seeing Patton the next day- Patton, his newly official boyfriend! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The monday after their ice cream date, the two had somewhat awkwardly made it official, and now had another date scheduled for this coming friday, when Janus would go over to Patton’s house to watch The Emperor’s New Groove, and also meet Patton’s parents, which they were definitely not nervous at all at the thought of being judged by parental figures. But that was something to worry about later- now Janus just had to get ready for school.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked out of their bedroom, careful to not let the floor creak too loud. As they entered the kitchen, they tried not to let their disgust show at their father, who was already sitting in front of the television, watching football with a beer in his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So it was going to be one of those days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus already knew what it was going to be like when they got home- probably some shouting, maybe a shattered glass bottle on the floor, and most likely a drunken rant about how much of a disappointment Janus (though his father wouldn’t call them that) was for not having a girlfriend yet, for not having moved out yet, for not having a ‘real’ job yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Janus just sighed quietly as they took out a cereal bar and poured themself a glass of milk. That was what Janus had eaten for breakfast every day for years, and they were not about to break that streak- and they definitely were not about to start having beer instead of milk or some alcoholic drink on ice instead of a cereal bar. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus was just about to walk out of the door when their father shouted, “Boy! Get me another drink!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus groaned inwardly. “Okay,” they said under their breath, hoping he wouldn't hear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that!?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dammit. Their father had heard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir,” Janus replied as they walked to the fridge and pulled out another bottle. They handed it to their father, wrinkling their nose at the stench of alcohol surrounding the man in the chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally walking to the bus stop, hood pulled over their head as usual, Janus’s phone dinged with a text from Patton. They smiled as they read,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Patton- Hiiiiiiiiii!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I made something for you!!! :D</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus quickly replied,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Janus- aa! You don’t have to! </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Patton- no but i wanted to ;)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus put a hand over their mouth to hide the grin that had sprouted from simply reading one of Patton’s texts. After standing by themself at the bus stop for what seemed much too short of a time, the bus came and Janus climbed on, a hint of a rare smile still on their face, finding an empty seat in the crowded bus. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus walked into the school building and was immediately hugged from behind, two arms wrapped around their waist and a head resting on their shoulders. Janus knew immediately who it was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Pat,” they said with a grin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Jay,” Patton replied happily, stepping out in front of Janus, who’s cheeks flushed at the new nickname. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I brought you something,” he said, taking a small gift bag out of his backpack. “You can open it now or save it for later,” he explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll open it now. So I have something to do during class,” Janus chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They took out the tissue paper, balling it up as they went, until Janus saw the gift. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the bottom of the bag sat a small yellow snake coiled around itself. Janus took it out and saw it was wearing a knitted top hat and had small button eyes sewn onto it. Janus ran a hand down the knitted stuffed animal, feeling every stitch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I remembered you liked snakes and the color yellow, so I found a pattern and I-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Janus cut him off. “Thank you so much, Patton. I love it,” they smiled broadly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad. I made all of it myself,” Patton smiled back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bell that signaled that everyone should head to class rang, and Patton started to say goodbye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Janus said, touching Patton on the arm. They moved closer to Patton and stood a bit on their tiptoes to plant a kiss on Patton’s cheek, who Janus could see blushing profusely as they pulled away. “Thank you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton nodded, putting a hand to his check where Janus had kissed him, a goofy grin on his face. “I, uh, yeah. Yeah, no problem. We should… get to class.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed together until the end of the hall, when Janus went upstairs to English and Patton went left to math, though Janus always kept his eyes on Patton until he was out of sight, just to watch Patton in a candid moment- what happens when he sees a friend, what he does when there’s a group of people blocking the entire hallway. When the latter happened, Janus normally swore or shoved through the crowd, getting dirty looks from the assholes who blocked the hall in the first place. But when Patton encountered that, he merely put a hand on a shoulder and said ‘excuse me,’ seeming to dissipate the crowd with a smile. How was Patton so nice to everyone all the time!? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus held the new stuffed snake hidden in the pocket of his hoodie as they pushed the crowd to get to English class on time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When it finally came time for lunch, Janus practically sprinted down the hallway to the cafeteria. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus sat in their usual spot at the table, across from Logan and Remus, who were usually the first ones there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Janus!” Remus shouted. “Please tell Logan that cereal is a soup!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not,” Logan replied, groaning. “Soups are hot!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus thought for a moment and then replied, “cereal is not a soup, because soups are hot. However, oatmeal is DEFINITELY a soup!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“BUT SOUPS ARE NOT SWEET, EITHER!” Logan replied, slamming his fist on the table as Janus and Remus laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus pulled out their phone and read, “the definition of ‘soup’ is ‘a liquid dish, typically made by boiling meat, fish, or vegetables, etc., in stock or water.’”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See? Meat, fish, or vegetables! Cereal and oatmeal are not soups!” Logan explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but it also says ‘typically!’” Janus countered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, what’s going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus turned in their chair to see Patton, Roman, and Virgil standing with a confused- or in Virgil’s case, concerned- look on their faces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton, please tell them that neither cereal or oatmeal is a soup!!” Logan shouted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But they </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>soups!” Everyone else except Logan said at the same time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- NO!” Logan sputtered.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” All five of them replied, laughing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting with Patton and his friends had to be one of the best things that had ever happened to Janus. Somehow they had been lucky enough to find an amazing significant other and friends that he could have ridiculous debates with. </span>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the perceived gap, time does not exist anymore</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Patton impatiently tapped his foot as he counted down the minutes until he and Janus would be driving to his house to have a movie night and meet his parents. In the past two weeks he and Janus had been dating, he told his moms about Janus and they wouldn’t stop asking when they were going to come over- but tonight the teasing would be over, and his moms would see just how amazing Janus was! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton had noticed, when he saw Janus earlier, that they had chosen to wear a yellow button-up shirt and black slacks instead of their usual hoodie and jeans- though they kept their usual color scheme. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, finally, the bell rang, dismissing Patton into the halls to go find his wonderful, amazing, beautiful, funny, sweet- Patton was running out of adjectives- significant other. Before running out of the classroom, Patton checked to make sure his camera was around his neck. He didn’t want to misplace it again; once was enough!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Janus!” Patton hugged them from behind as soon as he spotted them in front of the school. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Pat.” they leaned backwards into Patton, smiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you ready to watch the Disney movie with the best comedy of all time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, but I don’t know about the ‘best comedy of all time’ part. I think that would have to go to Lilo and Stitch. You can't get much funnier than an alien with a chainsaw.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I think you’ll find it can get MUCH funnier than that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Prove it,” Janus smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then let’s go,” Patton took Janus’s hand and the two of them headed to Patton’s car, Janus blushing the entire time at the hand-holding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Virgil is staying to watch Roman’s rehearsal again, I usually give him a ride. Sorry about the mess,” Patton explained as Janus moved a can of coke off the passenger seat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no. You’re fine,” Janus waved him off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Thanks. Your playlist or mine?” Patton changed the subject. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus thought for a moment. “Yours. Your playlist is always really happy, and I could probably use that,” they laughed nervously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nervous?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not at all,” Janus said nervously, tapping their fingers against their knee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to be. My parents are great, and they’ll love you! We’re just having dinner and watching a movie. Relax, Janus, you’ll be alright. I mean really, what’s the worst that could happen?” Truthfully, Patton could think of several bad things that could happen, although most were extremely unrealistic. Shaking his head, Patton started the car and turned on his music. Out of the corner of his eye, Patton saw Janus reach a hand up to his face and cover his scar, sighing quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the two of them arrived at Patton’s house, Janus took a deep breath before stepping out of the car and walking with Patton up the steps to his house. Patton took out his house key and opened the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, mom!” Patton turned to Janus. “Janus, this is my mom.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand held out a hand to shake Janus’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Mrs. Harte. I’m Janus, and-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Patton’s mom interrupted. “I know! I’ve heard so much about you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mom-” Patton groaned, but smiled. So far, everything was going smoothly. Patton had told his moms that they shouldn’t comment  on Janus’s scar or vitiligo, as to not make things awkward or make Janus embarrassed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, come one in! My wife should be home soon, and I’ll order pizza. What do you want, Janus?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, um, just cheese, thank you,” Janus replied, looking at Patton as they were ushered to the kitchen. Looking around, they saw that there were many frames hanging on the walls or propped on a counter, all holding beautiful pictures- Patton probably took all of them, with vibrant flowers or winding paths through the forest or a reflection of a boat on a still lake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! Would you like something to drink? Water, soda…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you have Sprite that would be great, ma’am.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton, you didn’t tell me you were dating a gentle-them!” Mrs. Harte smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus looked to Patton once again, who just shrugged and mouthed ‘go with it.’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a small interrogation of Janus by Patton’s mom, Patton took Janus into the living room and turned on The Emperor’s New Groove. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them started on different couch cushions, but found themselves moving closer until Janus was leaning on Patton’s shoulder, his arm around Janus’s shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton had taken the blanket that was draped on the back of the couch (which Janus assumes was handmade by Patton)  and snuggled closer to Janus underneath it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>About halfway through the movie, Patton’s mom came in and announced that pizza was ready, failing to hide a smile as the two sprang apart, embarrassed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, mom,” Patton said sheepishly as he and Janus were handed slices and a drink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Mrs. Harte,” Janus suddenly found the carpet very interesting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton’s mom smiled as the two of them turned back to the movie, Patton’s arm once again sliding around Janus’s shoulders when the pizza was finished. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After the movie, Janus turned to Patton, laughing. “Okay, I’ll concede. This was </span>
  <em>
    <span>amazing</span>
  </em>
  <span>! No regard to the fourth wall whatsoever!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you so!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Janus had introduced themself to both parents and had been thoroughly questioned by Patton’s moms, they had been judged “a keeper!” by Patton’s mom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When it came time for Janus to leave, Patton's mom stopped them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Janus,” she started. “I don’t know what your parents know or think about being in the LGBT community, but just know that you’re welcome to stay here if you ever need to, okay? As long as you’re good to my son, you’re welcome here any time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus wasn’t quite sure what to say- they didn’t really have a supportive adult- only an alcoholic father with anger issues and judgemental homophobia stemming from religion- so they just nodded and said, “thank you, ma’am,” hoping they hid the crack in their voice and the tears that were welling up in their eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, hon,” she put a comforting hand on Janus’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton appeared out of the kitchen. “I’ll drive you back,” he said, opening the door with Janus following. “Be back soon, mom!” Patton said over his shoulder </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the two of them were at the entrance to Janus’s neighborhood, Patton pulled over to one side of the street and turned to them and said, “I think they like you. I hope my mom didn’t give you too much trouble: it looked like kind of a serious talk that I interrupted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus shook their head. “It’s just…” they trailed off, not knowing how to word it. “My dad is- he’s not accepting. At all. I haven’t even told him anything. And your mom was offering me a place to stay if I needed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Patton frowned. “I’m sorry that your dad isn’t great. But you can definitely come over anytime you want! I’d love to be with you more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tears Janus had tried to hold back suddenly came, and Patto looked over at them, concerned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not you-” Janus said off of Patton’s look of worry. “It’s just.... My dad isn’t… he’s an asshole.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton’s mouth opened into an ‘o,’ not quite believing someone would say that their parent was an asshole so blatantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is. He’s so bigoted and horrible. I’ve never even thought about coming out to him before I’m a legal adult and moved out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Janus… I’m so sorry that you have to go through that. Gosh, if there’s anything I can do…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus just shook their head. “The only thing I want right now is to be able to see you. Your moms are great, and you’re amazing. God, Patton, you’re the nicest person I’ve ever met. And you’re cute, and funny....”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton blushed, looking down at his lap, his eyes starting to water with Janus’s speech. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus’s tone suddenly became serious. “Patton? You should probably also know that you’re the first person I’ve ever dated. I’ve always been so afraid of my dad finding out, but I’m a good liar,” Janus laughed nervously. “I don’t know what you want, or- or expect from me. I just- I thought you should know. So your standards aren’t too high and you’re disappointed when I don’t meet them.” Janus let out a shaky breath, their cheeks becoming wet with salty tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Janus… everyone dates for the first time. It doesn’t matter to me if I’m your first date or your hundredth, I just care that you’re happy. And since we’re doing some confessions, I should tell you that I’m asexual.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus nodded. “Thank you for understanding,” they said as Patton started to drive again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. Everyone is in that position at some point in their lives, and it isn’t fair to judge. If there are any boundaries you want to set, I’ll do my best to obey your wishes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus nodded as Patton pulled up to the front of their house. They sat in the car a moment longer, not wanting the night with Patton to end. So the two of them sat in the car just a little bit longer, their hands touching on the center console. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, like all good things, it had to end. Janus sighed, opening the passenger side door. Before they stepped out, they leaned over to Patton, kissing him on the cheek. It had become the couple’s way of saying goodbye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you again, Pat,” Janus smiled as they closed the door and walked up to their house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unlocking the door as quietly as they could, they tiptoed through the dark kitchen, snoring coming from the armchair in the living room. Making it silently to their room, they flopped onto their bed, grinning from ear to ear as they ran a hand over the stuffed snake Patton had given them.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>additional TW for alcohol and implied abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Janus?” Patton tapped them on the shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They looked up from their lunch at Patton, who was fiddling with the straps of his camera- something Janus noticed he did when he was nervous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So there’s the pep rally at the end of the day, and after that there’s like an after-party. I always go since I’m one of the cheerleaders, and I was wondering if you’d like to come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus was most definitely not one to go to parties, but on the other hand it would give them an excuse to get out of the house and be with Patton. They considered a moment before replying, “I’d love to. But- will anyone else I know be there?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so. Unless you know anyone on the sports teams or cheerleading? Remy Dormir or Emile Picani? They’ll be there. Virgil and Roman might come, but don’t count on it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus shook their head. “I know the names, but I don’t know who they are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emile is another cheerleader, and he’s dating Remy, who’s somehow on the football team. Remy is hosting,” Patton explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So they’re a stereotypical high school movie but gay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them laughed at the comparison. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’ll come?” Patton asked, still giggling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. But um, could you drive me? I can cook and I can spell, but I can’t drive,” Janus laughed, incapable of restraining themself from making a gay joke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. If anyone else comes we’ll all just carpool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Designated driving dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m the only one at our table who </span>
  <em>
    <span>can</span>
  </em>
  <span> drive!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them roared with laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I’ll meet you after school? Our normal spot?” Janus asked as the bell rang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” Patton answered, picking up his bag. “I’m parked in the same spot as always.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus nodded. “I’ll meet you there. Can’t wait!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was an hour after the pep rally had ended, and Janus’s ears were still ringing from the noise. Of course, it wasn’t all bad, as he got to clap for Patton, who was somehow thrown into the air and caught without becoming traumatized or gaining trust issues. One of the many mysteries of the world was how cheerleaders were so fearless when they could quite possibly die or become seriously injured if they weren’t caught properly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Janus would be lying if they said they hadn’t gasped in fear for their boyfriend as they watched him get tossed into the air and do some flips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton, how are you not terrified when you’re doing that?” They had asked Patton as the two of them walked to Patton’s car. He just shrugged in response, blushing a bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Patton pulled up to the street in front of Remy Dormir’s house, there were already several cars parked in a long row. Janus could hear music already blasting from inside the house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton slipped his hand into Janus’s, and the two of them opened the front door. Janus cringed at the noise, but walked in nonetheless when they saw Patton’s small grin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emile!” Patton shouted over the loud music. A boy with glasses and a Steven Universe shirt turned around to Patton and waved, walking over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Emile! This is my partner, Janus,” Patton smiled. Janus could feel themself going pink when they heard Patton call them his partner. Why did that make them so happy?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Pat! Hi, Janus,” Emile stuck out a hand for Janus to shake, and they obliged. Apparently Emile was the only high schooler on the planet who still shook hands for introductions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” was all Janus said. Emile seemed very nice, but the loud noise was already giving Janus second thoughts about agreeing to come with Patton. Janus didn't recognize any of the songs that were being blasted out of a large speaker, and they couldn’t decide if that made the noise better or worse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus found themself being guided by Patton to the kitchen, where Patton found a package of Oreos and grabbed it, smiling mischievously at Janus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The perfect crime. These are our cookies now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, yes.” Janus rubbed their hands together like a Disney villain and let out an exaggerated evil laugh. “Stealing a package of Oreos is a terrible offense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton grinned and walked over to a punch bowl full of red Kool-aid. He took a Solo Cup and filled it with the red drink while Janus watched, making themself comfortable on the counter and ripped open the package of cookies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They handed one to Patton, who had already taken a large sip of Kool-aid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks-“ Patton hiccuped.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus nodded, taking a handful of cookies. They were slightly stale, but did the job of taking their mind off of the noise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus had, apparently, disassociated while Patton socialized, because the next thing they knew, Remy, the host, was sitting on the counter next to them and kissing Emile. Janus averted their gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Janus-“ Patton hiccuped. “I looo-“ he hiccuped again. “I looove you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus turned to Patton, who had a goofy grin on his face and round glasses askew. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pat? What-“ Janus suddenly paled as they realized what had happened: there had been alcohol in Patton's drink. They took a deep breath and slid off the counter, cringing as they smelled the alcohol on Patton. This couldn’t be happening- Patton was going to start yelling- Patton was going to grab his arm- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They took a step back and closed their eyes for a minute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton, do you want some water? I’ll-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Earth! Fire! Air!” Patton shouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton, what-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony, until the fire nation attacked!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er, Patton? Can I call your mom?” Janus tried to stop Patton from drunkenly shouting the entire Avatar introduction monologue, and somehow it worked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Let’s go find my mom!” He giggled. Patton’s words were slurred, though Janus had, unfortunately, had practice listening to a drunk person when they were hard to understand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton, I need your phone to call your mom. Where is it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of answering, Patton wrapped his arms around Janus in a tight hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus stiffened, and even though they knew that it was only Patton, who would never hurt them, the stench of the drink was still overwhelming. Cautiously returning the hug, Janus fished Patton’s phone out of his back pocket- all their dabbling in sleight of hand had come in handy more times than they could count, and taking Patton’s phone was one of the easier things they had used the usual skill for. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus pressed Pattom’s tumb to the home screen, unlocking it. They scrolled through Patton’s contacts, searching for someone marked “Mom” or “Mother” or something along those lines. They finally found Patton’s mom’s number, and with shaky hands, Janus pressed the call button. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” Patton’s mom answered after one ring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mrs. Harte?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Janus, is that you? Are you alright?” Mrs. Harte’s tone was suddenly concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay, but, um, Patton and I are at a party-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The one at the Dormir house?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, and, I think- I think the drink was spiked. And- Patton’s… drunk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus silently cursed. What if they got Patton in trouble for saying that? What if Patton’s mom never let Patton around Janus-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he okay? I’ll come pick you both up. Go stand outside and give me the address. Stay on the phone, dear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus took a shaky breath and started to lead Patton outside, and, not at all to Janus’s surprise, it was like herding cats down a mountain while said cats were chasing balls of yarn in the complete opposite direction you wanted the cats to go. Namely, Patton wanted to stop and talk to every single person he knew, which seemed to be everyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only when Janus finally managed to drag Patton out of the hot and suffocatingly loud party could they finally take a relaxed breath. Though that moment of relief faded when they saw Mrs. Harte’s car stopping in front of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus braced themself for yelling, or accusations, or being left to find their own way back to their house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But instead, Mrs. Harte helped Patton into the car and told Janus to sit up front, all without raising her voice. Why wasn’t she angry? Why wasn’t she yelling? Or leaving Janus there? Why hadn’t she raised her hand?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus sat in the passenger’s seat, waiting for the inevitable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Janus?” Mrs. Harte looked at them. There it was- now Janus would have to listen to her yell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for letting me know. It’s not your fault, or Patton’s. I’m sure he didn’t drink underage on purpose, but a lot happens at teenagers' parties. But he’s fine, and you’re not in trouble. I’m glad you called me, Janus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus let out a breath of relief. Why was Patton’s mom so nice? They didn’t deserve it-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton spoke up from the back, interrupting their train of thought with a loud hiccup. “Mooom! Hiiii! Have you met Janus?” He grinned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus and Mrs. Harte looked at each other and laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes dear, I have,” Mrs. Harte replied. Turning to Janus, she asked, “Would it be alright if you stayed the night? It’s pretty late, and you look shaken.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” Janus blurted out. A night away from their father? And it was with Patton? Almost a dream come true!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Mrs. Harte helped Patton out of the car as he stumbled, still giggling at random times. As a rabbit steamed across the lawn, Patton laughed and tried to chase it into the neighbor’s yard. Janus couldn’t help but chuckle as his mom pulled him out of the neighbor’s lawn and into the house. Patton’s house was just as cozy as Janus remembered, albeit a little messier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry about the mess, dear. The guest room is just down the hall to the left, with the bathroom next to it. Get yourself settled and I’ll get you some clothes to sleep in,” Mrs. Harte led Patton down said hallway, Janus following. They peeked into Patton’s room, and it was almost exactly how Janus imagined it would look- vintage polaroids hung on a string of fairy lights over a desk cluttered with yarn, a sweater draped over the chair. Patton’s bed was covered in a rainbow hand-knit blanket and held more pillows than Janus cared to count. Mrs. Harte was attempting to get Patto into said pile of pillows when he looked up and saw Janus standing there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaaanus! Hi!! Have you heard that I love you? I love you!” Patton slipped around his mom and hugged Janus. They seemed to be getting a lot of hugs recently. Patton rested his head on Janus’s shoulder, leaning into them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus started at Patton’s mom, their face becoming redder as her smile grew wider. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton, Janus is going to be here tomorrow, too,” she again started the long process of convincing Patton to go to sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Pat. If you close your eyes, tomorrow will get here sooner, so you’ll see me again, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Okay!” Patton stumbled past his mom and practically tripped face first into his bed. Patton’s mom took off his glasses and set them on the nightstand on top of a book. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, Janus. Let’s get you settled. I’ll pick up donuts in the morning, but my wife should be home by then. She works the night shift at the hospital today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, ma’am,” Janus said as she turned out the light in Patton’s room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Janus woke the next morning, they thought it had all been a dream until they saw the unfamiliar bed and realized they were wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt from a 2018 pride festival. Pushing the blanket off them and then tiptoeing as quietly as they could toward the kitchen, Janus only had one train of thought. What would their father say when they got home? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought was suddenly pushed from their mind when Janus saw Patton’s moms sitting at the kitchen table with a box of donuts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They gestured for Janus to sit down and join them. Pushing a paper plate with a couple glazed donuts on it toward Janus, Mrs. Harte smiled and asked, “how did you sleep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- great, thank you. Is Patton still asleep?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both laughed, but Janus didn’t know what was so funny. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s going to have a horrible headache when he wakes up. I remember the first time we-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh! It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrible-</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton’s moms laughed together, and Janus suddenly felt a pang of envy. Patton’s parents were so in love with each other, and they wondered for a minute why they couldn’t have that. Janus’s mother had left them and their father, who barely tolerated them as it was. But if he found out Janus was gay? He would completely disown them. Not that it would be horrible, as Janus couldn’t wait until they could move out. But until then? Coming out couldn't happen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Patton seemed to have been born out of the closet! He was so open about his sexuality and showed it at every opportunity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Janus! I forgot to ask, do you drink coffee, and would you like some?” The other Mrs Harte- Janus wasn’t quite sure how to differentiate between which lesbian they meant by their last names- asked, shaking Janus from their thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yes please.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Patton’s mom brought over two mugs of hot coffee and milk, but Janus just picked up the mug placed in front of them, and without adding any milk or sugar, or even waiting for it to cool off a bit, took a sip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both Mrs. Hartes, seemingly impressed, suddenly looked down the hallway and called out, “look who decided to wake up!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up, sleepyhead?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton came into the kitchen, his curly hair sticking up from every angle and glasses likely forgotten on his nightstand. He blinked rapidly, and groaned, “it’s too bright.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bleary-eyed, Patton pulled out a chair and sat down, only then realizing that Janus was next to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh. Hi,” Patton hastily attempted to tame his bedhead. “I- sorry for… anything I did last night. I don’t remember anything that happened,” he shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine.” Janus replied, leaving out the fact that the alcohol fought back memories they would much rather forget. “You were actually kind of funny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry to interrupt,” Mrs. Harte said. “But Janus, what time do you need to be home? Is noon alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, noon is fine. Thanks,” Janus replied, absolutely not looking forward to going back to their house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not seeming to notice Janus’s displeasure, somewhat glad she didn’t, Mrs Harte replied, “Great! Would you two like to watch a movie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, just don’t have the volume too high. My head hurts..” Patton groaned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the movie was finished, Janus was reluctant to leave the couch where they had settled with Patton under a handmade blanket and his head resting on their shoulder. But all good things must come to an end, Janus thought as they climbed into the passenger seat of Mrs. Harte’s car. The other Mrs. Harte (Janus still wasn’t sure what to call them) was staying with Patton to make sure he was alright. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus didn’t talk much on the car ride, and, thankfully, Mrs. Harte didn’t push them to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she pulled up at Janus’s house, she must have seen how worried Janus looked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Janus, you can call me any time,” she said, taking out a sticky note and pen from the glove compartment. “Here’s my number, and don’t be afraid to call me if something happens.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She handed them the note with a phone number written on it, which Janus slipped in the pocket of their now-clean usual clothes. The unspoken word of “outed” hung in the air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Janus said, getting out of the car. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a deep bath, they prepared  themself to walk through the door and see their father. When Janus walked in, they saw almost exactly what they expected. Their father stood in front of the fridge, beer in hand and scowling at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where have you been, boy!?” He shouted at Janus, not realizing how they cringed when he said “boy.” Janus wasn’t a boy, they were non binary! But they could never tell him that. The repercussions would be worse than intentional misgendering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was at a party,” Janus said calmly, having rehearsed lines just in case something like this happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All night! You were at a party the entire night!?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I was. I fell asleep at the house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was just enough truth in the last line for him to believe it. Janus had simply changed “a” house to “the” house, and their father bought it. Those were the best kinds of lies- those with mostly truth, but a word or two changed just enough that everyone would believe it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He furrowed his sweaty eyebrows and said, “fine. But I don’t want to see you again for the rest of the day. There’s a game on, and I don’t want to be disturbed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” Janus had planned to do homework and take a walk, anyways.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir,” Janus plastered a fake smile on their face and walked to their bedroom. </span>
</p><p>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW for some violence (not graphic) and abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Janus woke up to the sound of shouting. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence, but this one sounded… different. They couldn’t quite place what was wrong, but something was off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat up in bed, still clutching the stuffed snake Patton had made- it had turned into a comforting presence for Janus, something they squished or stroked when they were anxious or stressed (which was nearly all the time). </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crashes came from the living room- unusual, but not unheard of. Still, the storm they knew was coming was going to be bad if their father was breaking something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus now had the choice: stay in their room and wait for the storm to come, or try to get out of the house until the storm had blown over? Tucking the snake and their phone in the pocket of their jacket, Janus crept out of their room to the back door, careful to not let the floorboards creak- a skill they had mastered, along with sleight of hand out of necessity. The silent walking for sneaking out, and the sleight of hand to hide anything that could possibly get them in trouble- which could be everything from a quarter to a granola bar to their phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as they were about to open the door, a glass smashed against the wall next to them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you to stay in your room, boy!” Their father shouted. Janus wanted to retch every time they were called that- boy. That was one thing they definitely were not. They had their back to their father, not able to look at his undoubtedly red face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus was about to reply when a hand grabbed their hood. “Look at me when I’m speaking to you!” His words were slurred. He must have been drinking way too much again- Janus’s breath hitched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to be taught a lesson in respect!” he grabbed Janus by the wrist and started dragging them away from the back door. Janus struggled, digging their heels into the floor, but their father just grunted and pulled them harder. </span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Stop! Stop!” Janus shouted, realizing what was about to happen. </span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Shut up!” he slammed their head against the wall as Janus shouted. They let out a yelp of pain as their father dug his hand into their hair and shoved them into the hall closet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus fell on their wrist with a snap and turned just in time to see the door close, cutting off the last bit of light. They let out a groan of frustration as they moved into a sitting position with their head between their knees. Janus let out a whispered swear as their breathing became faster, holding the knitted snake close to their face. </span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Just when they felt as if the weight on their chest was about to crush them, Janus felt a buzz from their pocket. </span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>That was right! They had their phone on them! Janus let out a sigh of relief as the screen lit up the dark closet. Janus paused. Who could he call? There was no guarantee Patton would pick up, or even have his phone on him… they suddenly remembered Patton’s mom had given them her number!</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Digging through his pockets, Janus finally found the sticky note she had given them. Taking a deep breath, they typed the number in and hit ‘call.’</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Waiting for Mrs. Harte to pick up, Janus’s heart pounded as they recited a script in their head. </span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Hello?” </span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Is this Patton’s mom?” Janus whispered into the microphone of his earbuds. </span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Yes, who- oh, Janus! Are you alright?” She replied, the tone of her voice changing from the one that you would answer a telemarketer with. </span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“I- well,” Janus stuttered for a moment, the practiced lines momentarily forgotten. “My father, he- well, he’s really, really drunk right now, and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton’s mom took a deep breath and exhaled as if she was trying not to swear. “Are you alright, Janus?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” they said, wanting to believe it themself.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. I’m going to drive over there with Patton. We’ll pick you up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, well, I- I can’t go out right now... “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” Her tone was suddenly hard. “What did he do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Barely audible, Janus murmured, “he locked me in the closet.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A moment passed before she replied. “I have a plan, okay? Make sure to breathe, Janus. Can you tell me where the key to your backdoor would be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s unlocked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even better. I’m going to stay on the call with you, is that okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Yeah, that’s fine.” Janus covered their head with their hands again as they listened to Mrs. Harte’s instructions to keep breathing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clock on his phone said it had been ten minutes since Mrs. Harte said she was coming over, yet it felt more like an hour to Janus, sitting in the dark with only a dim phone screen to illuminate the tiny closet. Five more minutes passed before they heard their father grumble as he walked past the closet to the front door. Another minute passed before there was a shuffling outside the door. Janus winced as they heard a chair scraping against the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Squinting at the light suddenly flooding in, Janus slowly stood up as he saw who had opened the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Janus!” Patton whisper-shouted, wrapping Janus in a hug. “Come on, my mom is still talking to him. She can talk for hours,” Patton gave a sad smile and took Janus’s hand/ “I came in through the back door.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still gripping tightly to Patton’s hand, Janus closed the door and replaced the chair. “To give us more time,” they explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them crept out of the house, Janus pointing out each creaky floorboard to avoid, until the two were outside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Running and crouching underneath the windows, Patton still held Janus’s hand. “I’m so glad you’re okay. My mom is going to pull around, and then we’re going to get in the car. Are you hurt at all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus paused. He flexed his wrist- the one that didn’t have a death-grip on Patton’s hand- and winced. Patton must have noticed, because he continued, “Mother is a nurse, so she can fix that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus just nodded. Now that any sort of adrenaline was fading, they were overly aware of where they had been slammed into the wall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Mrs. Harte’s car came back around the block, Patton helped Janus into the seat, never letting go of Janus’s uninjured hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Patton’s mom sped off back to his house, Patton leaned over and whispered, “I’m sorry about what happened. It’s going to be okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In response, Janus put their head on Patton’s shoulder. Patton nodded and wrapped Janus in a hug. </span>
</p><p>
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